Dear Paxton,

The rumor is that soon you will be 6 months old.  Where has the time gone?  Before I forget one minute of this beautiful journey, I decided I need to write about it.  Someday you might read these, and know that you are, without a doubt, the most amazing thing that has happened to me.  I feel like I’ve already wasted precious time, so I’m going to give you the shortened version on how we got to this point.

I met your dad while working in Auburn, IL.  I was a new teacher, fresh out of college.  He grew up in this small town and was one of the few men in the profession.  Some other teachers introduced us, and quite frankly, he wasn’t interested in me.  I had to talk him into going on a date, and we began to call him “No Moves Tony” at the Elementary School.  Our first big date was to a high school basketball game.  Our second date was a 6 mile run the next day.  I fell in love with him quickly.  He was the calmness that my life lacked.  We dated for 9 short months and he asked me to marry him out in Central Park in New York City during your Uncle Logan’s marathon. (Logan was a little mad that your dad stole his thunder for the day). Ps… I won’t let you date someone for only 9 months before you get married.  In fact, I’m not sure I’ll let you date at all.  We’ll get to that later.

Our wedding was on July 31st, 2010 in Clinton, IL.  It was next to the pond at Grammy and Pop’s house. It was simple and it was full of family and friends. I ended up having a touch of the flu (and when I say touch…it was pretty awful, I think the bottle of pepto bismol made it in more pictures than my bouquet did), but we had a beautiful ceremony and left the next morning for a wonderful honeymoon in Jamaica.  I made your dad pull over on our way to the hotel so I could throw up in one of Jersey’s doggy bags.  I’m sure that’s how he always pictured his wedding night.

For the next couple years, I worked as a kindergarten and first grade special education teacher and your dad switched from an aide in Auburn to a jr. high special education teacher in Tri-City.  In November of 2010, I opened up my own photography business on the side.  I have always loved taking pictures, but wanted to dive into it deeper.  You have no idea just how many pictures I’ll have of you one day.

Back in high school and college, I was told that I had little to no chance of ever getting pregnant due to my endometriosis and Celiac Disease.  Fast forward though a really depressing time and knowing adoption might be an option for my future family, your dad was always supportive.  We decided we still wanted to try for a family no matter what, and if need be, we’d love to adopt.  I needed jaw surgery in the summer of 2012, and we discussed that if we didn’t get pregnant by May, we would go ahead and schedule the surgery and put the family idea on hold for a year or so.  I took a test that Monday in May feeling very hopeful, and it was negative.  I was crushed.  I am quite stubborn, and I don’t like to be told no, especially by doctors, but  I feared they were maybe right.  But then Friday came.  On Friday, I was walking through Dollar General and I got sick in the middle of the store.  To this day, it was my favorite puke ever. 🙂  I just knew that puke meant something more. I took a test the next morning, and our lives were forever changed with those two pink lines.  I took about 10 more in the next week.  I still haven’t had that jaw surgery.

I love you so much,

Your mom.