Dear Paxton,
We just got back from spending the weekend at birthday parties. You went to your friend Ava’s birthday party on Saturday and your friend Emerson’s party on Sunday. You had a blast, because you were able to swim at both parties (and your fiancé Hudson was there… I have told you about that arranged marriage, right?)
I am overfilled with joy as I look around and see the next generation. Life has changed so much in the past few years. My friends sat around talking about our 10 year reunion coming up in 2 weeks. 10 years ago we had no idea that life would twist and turn in the direction it has, but that’s all part of the ride. Here’s how life has changed since you’ve entered our world…
*Our living room: What once was a room with a couch, a loveseat, and a recliner, now is a room bursting at the seams with a bouncer seat, a jumperoo, a bumbo seat, your toy box, and an activity mat. It actually feels like we have extra room, because we took your swing down about a month ago. If you walk in our house, it’s clear that a little girl is spoiled rotten here.
*Our social life: We pretty much let you set the schedule. Some parents swear by certain schedules, and it really works for them. We follow your cues, and it works for us. You tell us when you’re tired, and it’s starting to get more predictable. You tell us when you’re hungry, and it’s usually 2 1/2 hours to the minute. 🙂 We don’t do a lot after 6, because we have a bedtime routine that really works for us. This means that we see some of our friends a lot less, but we made that choice when we decided to start a family, and it’s a choice I certainly don’t regret.
*My personal hygiene: While your dad gets a shower every day, and you take a bath every night…I’m lucky to get one every other day, after you go to bed or a quick one during your nap. I’ve used a blow dryer on my hair twice since you were born. Last year I so much as got a chip in my toe-nail polish and I was getting another pedicure. My last pedicure was in December… the month before you were born. You always are dressed in cute little outfits, I sometimes don’t make it out of my sweatpants. The cool thing is… you think I’m just as good of a mom whether or not I put my make-up on, or if I squeeze my post-baby body into a pair of skinny jeans, or rock sweats for the day.
*Going out to eat: What’s that? If they don’t have carry-out, you can usually count us out! You are way too interested in what I’m eating to take you out to eat right now! We tried going to a restaurant in June. It was just you, me, and Daddy. I nursed you at the table with a cover and then let you sit on my lap while I ate. 10 seconds later, you dumped my entire glass of water on both of us…”to go, please.”
*My caffeine intake: When I became pregnant, I knew I could no longer do the 6 diet cokes a day routine. I cut back to one a day and it became my special treat (ridiculous, I know.) I couldn’t wait to sit in the hospital and drink a big ole 32 oz fountain diet coke. Only, I didn’t. The entire labor all I wanted was a diet coke. It turns out they make you wait a while before you get to have anything to drink, and by the time I could have a drink, it was too late. I had a half a diet coke the next day, and that was the last one I had. You went a little crazy, and I told myself it was due to the caffeine. It very well could’ve been because you were one day old, but in my mind, I was going to do anything I could to protect you. Bye-bye caffeine.
*Car rides: If it’s over an hour, it’s not an option. Sometimes you sleep, sometimes you squeal, and more often, you make crazy dinosaur noises the entire time…an hour is plenty long enough.
*Jersey: Our poor dog. She was once my baby. In fact, I told Grammy once that I was afraid I could never love anything as much as her. Ha. I love you, and I have to say, I love you a heck of a lot more than our dog. She gets fewer trips to Dairy Queen, she no longer sleeps in bed with me, and I don’t cater to her every attempt to play fetch.
*Friendships: Some people come around more often now that you’re here. Some people come around way less. I’ve connected with other moms, and consider myself part of this larger network of people who are all trying to figure this parenthood thing out.
*Family: More particularly, my relationship with my mom (Grammy). I have a hard time admitting when I need a little help. I like to show the world that I can do most things on my own. I break off way more than I can chew. Grammy gets that. She steps in and helps. She picked up the phone 10 times a day during your first month when I wondered if it was ok that you spit up a little or if a little runny nose required a trip to the doctor. Family has been the biggest blessing. Your grandparents, great-grandparents, and aunt and uncles have embraced you in the biggest way. If we are spending the weekend with family, I know that I won’t touch you unless it’s time for you to eat. We’re so lucky to have family.
Life has changed. It has changed a lot. But nothing about this is a sacrifice. There is absolutely NOTHING in the world that could be better than being your mom. My life didn’t end the day you were born, it began. I discovered a whole new purpose…a new passion…a drive to be the best for you. Someday I’m told that I will be excited to leave you with a babysitter or take some “me” time. Right now, my “me” time is just fine being “us” time.
I love you,
Your mom.
Dear Paxton... 