Dear Pax and Ike,

Remember when I said that at some point, the downhill coast comes to a halt, and all of the sudden life slaps you in the face again?  Welcome August and September!

They finished our deck and built a little ramp in the back, which is so much fun for you both.

Pax, we signed you up for dance camp at the beginning of August.  Your response was, “Why do I need to have a teacher, I already have great moves.”  Although I was not a girly girl, buying you little leotards and tutus made my heart flutter.  Part of it is because I know it’s great for your coordination.  The other part is your still holding on to your so adorable chubby little thighs, and I couldn’t wait to squeeze them into tights and ballet shoes.  Ok, there’s one more part.  I’m super pigeon-toed, and seeing your little turnout brought me back to the years of the athletic trainers putting weights on my ankles before basketball practice in an attempt to “fix me.”  You loved dance camp, and really, it was our first attempt at anything “organized” for you.  The camp was for 3-5 year olds, and at 3, you were easily the tallest one.

On the final day of dance camp, we decided we would go camping.  This was our first time attempting to sleep with Ike in a tent (someday I’ll get a camper, right?)  We picked a spot and got set up.  Ammy and PopPop came out for supper, and as soon as we were done eating, it started pouring, which it did all night long.  Around 4 in the morning, it let up just long enough for the cows to begin their morning mooing.  Who puts a campground right next to a pasture full of cows?  Pax fell asleep quickly, and Ike, well you spent a good 45 minutes driving trucks all over my body. At some point in the night, you finally passed out, on my legs, which were hanging off the edge of the air mattress.  I sat up and tried to pull you up and felt a terrible pain in my back.  It was a rough night.  In the morning, we packed up quickly, and made a stop at urgent care so I could get a shot.  It wasn’t everything I had pictured for our first camping excursion, but it was a few hours of fun, and definitely a memory.

On my last day before heading back to school, we hit up a little thing in Woodland Park called “Touch a Truck.”  Ike, you were in heaven as you climbed on several different big vehicles and machines.  I keep thinking that going back to work after summer breaks will get easier, and I keep finding that is not the case.  I need more days, more moments, more time to tell you that I’m the luckiest mama in the world.  More time to chase butterflies, climb mountains, and enjoy the ride.

Grandma and Grandpa came out from Illinois for a visit and to watch you both while Ammy was in Florida.  We had such a great time showing them the new house and even going to the North Pole (a little amusement park built into the mountain).

Daddy had his race on August 20th.  The night before, Ike was up most of the night with a 103 degree fever.  My heart was torn.  I needed to be two places at once (being a mommy is like that) and I couldn’t.  Ike, you stayed with Grandma and Pax while Grandpa, Uncle Logan, and I headed up Pike’s Peak to watch Daddy finish the Ascent. Daddy did a great job and is already talking about doing it again next year!

Right after Grandma and Grandpa left, we experienced our first trip to the Emergency Room with Ike.  I knew it was coming from the moment you were born, but it still doesn’t make it easy. You were standing up on the couch, because, well because you always stand on the couch.  Then you climb up the railing or you jump.  In this particular case, you had been jumping off.  You had climbed back up and had stepped on the footrest that was extended at the time.  Only this time, you were standing backwards.  I guess you needed more of a thrill.  Pax came around and pushed down the footrest as you jumped, and your foot got caught as you fell backwards.  You cried briefly, and then seemed ok.  However, you refused to walk.  I let you sleep on it and then took you for x-rays the next morning.  I told them what happened, and they x-rayed your foot and said it looked fine.  We went home and started getting ready for your 2nd birthday party. You both went camping with Ammy and PopPop, and although Ike continued to limp, his injury didn’t slow him down much.

I had a blast planning your birthday party.  Your favorite book right now is Little Blue Truck. I planned the entire party around that book.  We spray painted a kiddie pool, filled it with gravel, and put a bunch of little trucks in it.  The food was: Diesel dogs (hot dogs) and bumper brats, spark plug sliders, farm fresh eggs, vehicle veggies, carburetor kabobs, cracked windshields (chips) and dirt cake. After eating, I read the book to you and your friends.  When the truck says “beep beep beep” at the end of the story, Daddy brought out your very own blue truck.  It was such a fun day!

Three days after the party, we had your check-up at the doctor.  Because you were still limping, they sent us for more x-rays.  After that, we were called back for more x-rays the same afternoon. Finally, we were referred to an orthopedic specialist and found out YOU’D BEEN WALKING ON A BROKEN LEG FOR 1 WEEK AND 6 DAYS!  I felt like the worst kind of parent.  The doctor at the ER had only x-rayed your foot, and it was further up your leg.  They call these toddler fractures because they are so hard to see on an x-ray.  You rocked your first cast like a champ. You called it your “big blue bandaid” and were out hiking with Ammy and PopPop the next day.

People ask me all the time why I never do actual photo sessions with you both.  I’ve been waiting all summer for Ike’s knot to go away on his head.  It never did, and now he has a broken leg.  I decided to quit waiting, and to give it a shot.  On the way to Ammy and PopPop’s house, there is this patch of flowers that blooms beautifully each September, but the window is pretty short.  We went on a beautiful day and got some sweet pictures of you both.

We have had absolutely beautiful weather this past month.  We were able to head up to Denver to meet Lane at the zoo.  It’s always been fun getting you three together, but it’s getting even better now that you can all play.

Our country is slightly terrifying right now.  It’s weird to write this and have no idea what the outcome will be, and how different everything will be when you are old enough to understand these letters.  I’ve never been a political person.  Not only am I not very interested in it all, I don’t put enough effort into learning.  However, when I heard rumors that Donald Trump might be running for president, I truly thought it was a joke.  There was no way someone with his lack of experience and crazy history could be a leader in the country.  It appears that it was very much not a joke, and as we get closer to election day, I find myself consumed with worry.  Honestly, in Illinois, while I would care, this wouldn’t have been such a big issue.  But right now, in my job, with these students, I am scared.  I want them to live in a world where they are valued, praised, and given opportunities based on who they are and not where they’re from or what they look like.  Just writing that sentence takes me back to a time before I was even alive.  I’m scared for them, I’m scared I won’t have the right answers.  I do know that I find solace in your arms, in the moments.

I titled this post uphill part 1.  After every downhill, you hit it.  We hit it with a broken leg, and then the climb continued.  Then, Pax, you decided you wanted to add to the tab a bit as well…

You wrecked your scooter riding down the road outside of our house. They superglued you back together and sent us on our way.  In the past month, we’ve had two trips to urgent care, three sets of x-rays, 3 doctor appointments, a cast, and now a superglued chin.  Sometimes you wreck, usually it’s when you’re going too fast downhill.

I hope that things settle down for a bit now.  I hope that next time I write, we are back to cruising.  But we’ve never lasted like that for long, have we?  What fun is it when things are going smoothly?

I love you,

Your mom.