You woke up at 5:45. Like the crappy parent that I’ve been these past few days, I handed you my phone to watch nursery rhymes hoping I could finally catch a little sleep. Eventually you went downstairs with Daddy, and I stayed in bed for about 30 more minutes, before the mom guilt set in. I went downstairs and started to change your diaper. I laughed at the fact that you already had a messy face and hadn’t even had breakfast. I said, “Ike, what is this white stuff on your cheek?” Pax immediately replied, “He ate that whole bottle of medicine in his room.” 😳😳

Because it was a brand new bottle, the little plastic wrap (that I didn’t remove all the way) had prevented it from locking when I closed it.

I called poison control immediately, and you ended up being in the clear because the ingredients were safe, even in massive amounts. You ate 118 tablets in a couple minutes. 118 tablets.

I tell myself that everyone has one of these stories, but that’s not true.  We are so lucky that this story ended the way that it did.  I’m not sure that I’ll ever forgive myself for this, and maybe that’s why I need to put it out there, as a permanent brand to the fact that I’m not the incredible parent that I want to be, or that others falsely assume.

These past few months since I’ve written have been jam-packed.  My master’s classes are getting a little more intense, and I find it near impossible to carve out the time to write. Christmastime always seems to ground me back into reality.  A celebration of another year where we all made it.  Maybe after the 118 pills, it feels a little more that way.

I’ve written before that as I get older, I begin to embrace the season of fall more and more.  I’ve never been a fan of Halloween, but experiencing it through your eyes makes it a little more fun. I also love all things pumpkin patch, and we have a great one about 30 minutes from our house. I’m not sure if I’ve written about the first time we went as a family of four (and I’m too lazy to check right now), but Ike, you had a massive explosion from the collar of your shirt down to your socks.  I remember trying to change you into the ‘scraps’ I had thrown into the diaper bag.  All moms know exactly what I’m talking about- the clothes that don’t match that are bundled in the bottom of your diaper bag for emergency purposes only, and this was an emergency.  Trips to the pumpkin patch seem a little less eventful after that.

You’ve also both started the Fall Race Series with Daddy.  It’s a set of 4 races that you both get to run in.  They are hilarious.  I never realized how difficult it is for kids to run in a straight line.

We had our family pictures taken in October.  Who knew that was so stressful?  It costs a fortune for only a few minutes, and I left thinking we all looked good, just not at the same time or in the same place.  I was pleasantly surprised when we got them back!

We started letting you pick your own Halloween costumes last year, and this year, we continued the tradition.  Ike, you picked a construction worker costume, and Pax, you picked Doc McStuffins. We hit up a few of our amazing neighbors, did Trunk or Treat at the church, and went to Ammy and PopPop’s house.

November came in with a stomach bug and a big research paper due on my end.  You guys always seem to puke in the middle of the night, which happens to be when I usually end up going to bed.  It makes for an interesting series of events. I’ve also started taking more pictures (in my lack of free time).  I truly love being behind the camera, and always hoped that my photography would take back off at some point, I’m just not sure when is the ideal time for that to happen!

Pax, you have become slightly fixated on what life looks like as an adult.  You keep asking if you can live with us forever, and if so, if you can get a bigger bed and closet.

Gee and Papa moved here, and actually live just about 10 miles away from our house.  We’re all so excited to spend more time with them besides the once a year trip we were trying to make to Florida.  You both go and visit them during the week.  You’ve made all kinds of friends at the Dining Hall where they live.

We’ve taken advantage of the beautiful weather, and have spent a lot of November outside.  Watching Daddy put Christmas lights up on our new house was interesting to say the least.

This home feels so much more like home.  Decorating for the holidays is much more fun in a house where there is a bit of room.  I can’t wait to watch the traditions we develop here.  When I think of Christmas, I always think of sandwiches at Grandma and Grandpa’s house on Christmas Eve, and then biscuits and gravy in the morning at our house.  Although, like any other kid, I loved the presents, clearly the food made a bigger impression!  One of the things I looked forward to most (when house hunting) was finding a place that would make it possible to host.  Our house isn’t huge by any means, but it just feels right.

I think we’ve watched the movie Polar Express once a day (at least) leading up to Christmas.  Ike loves the “choo choo” movie and Pax, you love the songs (and the hot chocolate that you always get). We quickly found out that the little skinny tree that we had bought for our past house was not going to cut it in the new one!  It looked tiny in our living room, but it looked even smaller next to our huge windows that look out to all the real pine trees on the mountain.

Grandma and Grandpa came out in December, and we attempted some sledding in our yard and the result was me laughing harder than I have in a long time. There really is not a great run, so inevitably, just as you picked up speed, you would hit a tree, rock, or ravine, and it would send one or both of you flying out of the sled.  As I type that out, I realize (again) how I’m not quite the best parent. We kicked off Christmas break by riding the train up Pike’s Peak a big, singing carols, and having hot chocolate with Santa and Mrs. Claus. It was magical, as is seeing this season through both of your eyes.

We switched Christmas plans several times, and ended up all spending the night at Ammy and PopPop’s house.  We had sandwiches on Christmas Eve, you opened new pajamas, and Daddy read Twas the Night Before Christmas.  I had hoped that you both would fall asleep and we could play some games that night, but after a failed attempt, I ended up having to lay down with Ike to get him to sleep (super late).  Lane had a tough time sleeping that night, so when you both woke up (super early), he was still sleeping for a couple hours.  We ended up opening presents in shifts because you were so excited you couldn’t hardly stand it.  It was still a great time, and we were hit with quite the snowstorm that day.  It was a beautiful Christmas.

We ended the year with a trip to Skyzone and then our little incident of 118 tablets.

I feel like every year, and every post, I’m writing about how busy things have been, and maybe that’s just the theme of our lives.  I don’t think I’m one of those people that does my best in calm conditions.  I kind of crave the chaos I guess.  Maybe that’s how I am as a parent, too.  I don’t have it all together all the time, but I love you through the chaos, and that love never lessens one single bit.  Here’s to 2017.  I can’t wait to see what adventures are in store!

I love you,

Your mom.